I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you win again, gameday.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
