how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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