he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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