my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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