Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's get the cat blown out
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
