why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
