Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
