i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
