shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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