Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
