I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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