all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
