Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
