Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
