I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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