Are we in a gay sports bar?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
