he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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