So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
