Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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