if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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