pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Do vagina's smell?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
