ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
