We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
People in love make me want to vomit
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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