Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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