I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
