there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
