I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
