lets start a swedish sibling band together
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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