I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
