So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
