i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
