it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
