I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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