my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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