You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
