Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
