when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
