I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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