And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
