im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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