the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize