I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize