she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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