stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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