Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
