I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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