he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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