I forgot how hot balto sounded
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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