My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
