It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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