I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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