I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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