I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize