I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
