ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
