her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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